tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65883701887170736372024-02-19T23:57:42.916-08:00The Buck BlogI am a fan of reading, writing, making fun of things and Buffalo sports. That's pretty much what you can expect to find in here.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-43966127545350823972013-05-30T13:30:00.001-07:002013-05-30T13:30:37.452-07:00Kids are dumb (and getting dumber)I talked to a public school teacher last night who said they're discouraged from promoting any learning based on memorization. As in, they don't even do math like normal people anymore. No multiplication tables, no carrying of numbers. Nope. Any learning method that requires a kid actually memorize simple facts is being washed out of the public school system, presumably because the kids who don't bother to try to remember anything feel bad. I thought <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/memory-medic/201305/memorization-is-not-dirty-word-2">this article</a> did a good job dispelling some of that nonsense.<br />
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Look, I'm all for finding new ways to get through to kids who struggle in school, but you know where this is coming from. It's some mopey, dopey mom who can't handle the thought that her dumb jock kid is a dumb jock so instead of taking the football out of his hands and shoving a book under his nose, she calls the English teacher and harasses him/her until Johnny Football gets the score he needs. And it doesn't have to be a jock thing. Any kid can have a parent like this. God forbid we let anyone fail at anything anymore. They might actually *gulp* know what it's like to live every friggin day as an adult. I should be angrier, but you know what? Screw it.<br />
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Now I know how a Bank of America exec feels because I can't wait until these people all grow up so I can fleece them for all the money they're worth in whatever sales job I pick up next. They say the gap is growing between the rich and the poor, but everyone blames the rich for it. Well, when you let your kids grow up dumb, which direction do you think they're going to go? Sorry, but I grew up dirt poor and I have no complaints about the economy. You know why? Because if I brought home bad grades, my mom didn't call the teacher. She shoved a book under my nose and said, "Now get to studying, you bum, or do you wanna be a ditch digger when you grow up?" I didn't, and I'm not. And if I was, I wouldn't blame the education system or rich people. I'd blameCoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-85546105515475023542013-05-16T14:22:00.001-07:002013-05-16T14:24:07.492-07:00In the meantime, here's MY Game of Thrones Hockey Team (I have no life)<a href="http://blogs.thescore.com/nhl/2013/05/16/dave-lozos-bag-skate-brad-richards-future-with-the-rangers-game-of-thrones-five-guys/">This article</a>, predictably, created a stir in me when you get to the bottom and see a fully realized Game of Thrones hockey lineup. Pretty much my two favorite non-specifically-human things in this world. Naturally I had to have my own take. I'm gonna go ahead and put them in the shape they were after season/book 2 just to be fair and try to fit as many main characters in as possible without ruining anything.<br />
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Owner: Tywin Lannister</div>
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GM: Petyr Baelish</div>
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HC: Daenerys Targaryen</div>
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Assistants: Tyrion Lannister, Varys the Spider</div>
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I mostly agree with Dave there's take on the management team. Tywin's clearly a greedy owner and Littlefinger is clearly a GM. I liked khaleesi for coach because of her rah-rah ability while Tyrion and Varys would be studious and fair assistant coaches. </div>
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Forwards:</div>
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Jaime-Barristan the Bold-Robb </div>
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Loras-Jon Snow-Brienne</div>
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Asha-Mance Rayder-Theon</div>
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Bronn-Ramsay Bolton-Ilyn Payne</div>
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Biggest offense of the original was omitting Barristan Selmy. That guy should wear the C on your team. Put him between Jaime (sniper) and Robb (skilled grinder) and that's a top line. Loras would be the flashy winger type of course. I figure on the third line get a little wild. Put the King Beyond the Wall between skilled siblings and you'll have a disruptive force. And I fully agree that the fourth line should shed as much blood as possible. I just think Bronn could have better linemates for the job.</div>
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Defense:</div>
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Gregor Clegane-Jorah Mormont</div>
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Stannis Baratheon-Sandor Clegane</div>
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Thoros of Myr-Tormund Giantsbane</div>
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<br /></div>
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At first I thought pairing the Cleganes on defense would be a good idea, but then you'd have those two trying to kill each other and maybe neither is particularly swift. I gave each a reliable partner and tossed a gritty third pairing behind them. </div>
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(Extra skaters: Joffrey and the Kingsguard. They'll be good at sitting behind a wall while everyone else gets shit done.)</div>
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<br /></div>
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Goalies:</div>
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Arya Stark</div>
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Samwell Tarly</div>
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<br /></div>
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If I'm playing a team of snipers, give me Arya and those quick hands. If it's a team of hard nosed grinders, give me Sam to play the odds.</div>
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<br /></div>
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And I've officially descended to a new low. But hey, give me your takes and we'll wallow in the slums! </div>
Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-7137034799861518762013-05-16T11:20:00.002-07:002013-05-16T11:20:27.970-07:00Back to where it all startedIt took almost exactly a year, but I think I was right where I was when I started the first time. Sigh. Abandon ship. Page one. Don't regret a second of it, and I'll use a lot of what's left behind for another work, but damn. Damn.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-12448178713653362302013-05-15T06:42:00.002-07:002013-05-15T06:42:32.530-07:00Another good article on the craft of writinghttp://menwithpens.ca/six-core-competencies-fiction-writing/<br />
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Love this article. Totally makes sense and hits it on the nail. I'm looking at this manuscript and, I mean, I have a story. Beginning, middle, end. But it's not enough and I know it's enough. There aren't enough layers to it. I can feel that. This article actually put words to it with this list:<br />
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* A set-up with a killer hook<br />
* Character intro with back-story and context<br />
* A sense of place<br />
* Foreshadowing and the establishment of stakes<br />
* The hero’s impending need and inner demons<br />
* The emerging seeds of a subplot<br />
* A major plot point that introduces the story’s antagonistic element<br />
* The definition of the hero’s quest or need<br />
* Scenes that deepen the tension as the hero responds<br />
* Refining the nature of the quest and the elements of its opposition<br />
* A mid-story mind-numbing context shift that changes everything<br />
* The evolution of the hero into a pro-active warrior<br />
* Another significant plot twist that puts all the cards on the table<br />
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I <i>might</i> have half of that. Not good enough. It's a crazy month -- moving means not only are your weekends jammed with packing, but your weekdays are filled with frantic partying with friends and family you will miss -- so I'm just sitting back, letting the old girl stew for a while, then picking things back up in mid-June. And then it will get better. When I read something like this, <i>"Because writers experience life in a way others don’t. We’re observers
and chroniclers and analysts. We’re players. In the roles we write, we
are alive and present. We matter. What we write outlives us." </i>it just confirms a lot of the hunches I've had to begin with. This will be worth it when I get it down. Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-49764714476159084962013-04-23T22:19:00.002-07:002013-04-23T22:19:37.541-07:00Time flies in one yearRoughly one year ago I checked into a hotel room for work purposes in Albany, NY and proceeded to crank out a FAT bit of what would become the first finished draft of any novel I've written. I remember the excited feeling that seized me when I realized how easy that step could be. I could just let go, type whatever the hell I wanted, and let the first draft be the first draft. The feeling was (and is) a rush. Just walking into this world that wouldn't exist without me and just smashing, dashing, rearranging, setting the course for all these nifty people, it just felt so right and so essential to who I am. Somehow I knew that if I just kept working on this, if I just kept doing this, that I would become a better person. I didn't know how, and frankly I still don't, but I think I am. I think having a purpose that runs deeper than making someone else money is a basic human need. I realize that need isn't for everyone, and I don't begrudge those who would disagree, but to them I would say they simply haven't dug deep enough or given themselves enough credit for their own creations.<br />
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You need a craft to survive in this world. I'm sure of it. You need something that goes beyond money and carnal desire and ambition and everything else that this world tells you that you need. You need something that feels right when <i>you</i> do it. Something that makes you feel special, that makes you feel like no one is doing <i>exactly </i>what you're doing at that second. You don't have to get paid for it (though aspiring to make money seems, to me, prudent at the very least) but you need to have it in your life. Otherwise what's the point? Make like three people in the world happy while you take what pleasure you can from that? It doesn't seem right to me. I lived that life. I toiled without challenging myself and trying to grow myself. I hated it. I wrote like once a month and it was pure cow's piss when I did. Who cares? I wasn't dedicated. I look at my writing now and I'm happier about it, but it's like my golf game. I know that even if I improve a little bit every day for the next ten years, I'll still want to get better in a decade. I'll still find flaws in my game. What a beautiful thing.<br />
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I didn't have this perspective a year ago, but it's because of nights like those I spent in hotels like this one that remind me of what is essential to this process. It's not about characters or plot or making things work on a systematic level (though I do believe those things certainly separate certain works from others). None of those things will work if you don't pour your fucking ass into it. Also your heart. Actually if you had to choose between ass and heart, you'd probably go heart. But really all a heart does is pump blood, so that shit's overrated.<br />
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Put in the work is what I'm trying to say. Just do it for a year. Pick your favorite hobby or form of artistic expression and dedicate yourself for one year. Yes, it's a long time. Yes, it's going to suck. Yes, working out counts but only if you're in bad shape now. Just pick one thing to throw yourself into after work. Every day. Do it and relish in it. If you don't, find something new and restart the clock. Do it now before you stagnate because the older you get, the more your feet grow roots where you stand. Demand your best and you'll be surprised at what comes next.<br />
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I might not be a whole lot closer to my ultimate goal, but life isn't about the destination. It's about the journey. Mine started a little over a year ago and I'm still just starting this out. I'm just now realizing though that it doesn't really matter if I hit that finish line. Whether ten people, twenty people or twenty million people read my stuff, I'm gonna keep it going because I'm me and I write, dammit. I don't think I ever fully understood that sentiment until I did just that. So join in, my friends, and tell me about it when you do. I'll have a beer waiting for you in the clubhouse. Unfortunately the clubhouse is really a tree fort I lease from a ten year old since I'm broke. Hey, no one said chasing your dream was lucrative. Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-18946298635063235772013-03-28T13:09:00.000-07:002013-03-28T13:09:17.184-07:00New Book Recommendation: Wilderness by Lance WellerAs I've mentioned here before, I'm a big historical nut. I love straight non fictional history as well as historical fiction. Lance Weller's debut novel falls in the latter's category and it spans a hundred years to tell the vivid, gut-wrenching story of a Civil War veteran who, at the end of the day, remains a tender, affable guy beneath his hard exterior despite a lifetime of hardship that would have twisted many men into something much worse. I don't want to give much away and I don't like summarizing plots, so feel free to read about it here. I snagged it on a Kindle Daily Deal a month or two ago and it was the best deal of 2013 for me. Seriously, get this book. I don't care what kind of books you like. If you want to be moved, give this a try.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wilderness-A-Novel-Lance-Weller/dp/1608199371/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1364501190&sr=8-1&keywords=wilderness">http://www.amazon.com/Wilderness-A-Novel-Lance-Weller/dp/1608199371/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1364501190&sr=8-1&keywords=wilderness</a>
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<br />Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-88345782750716183592013-03-26T10:58:00.000-07:002013-03-26T10:58:08.943-07:00Writing found elsewhereJust read an interesting article at Grantland, found here: <a href="http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/9097228/tom-bissell-interviews-ken-levine-mind-bioshock">http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/9097228/tom-bissell-interviews-ken-levine-mind-bioshock</a><br />
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I love video games and in the same breath I'll tell you they're largely useless. They don't inspire, they don't assist creation, they don't do much more than kill time. But I like killing time and I like being lazy and I really like controlling pixelated hockey players on a TV screen. So video games are good by me in moderation. I don't recommend this article for its video game value though. I think it's a great piece about the craft of writing seen through a different lens. The Bioshock series has always stood out as a cool, eerie shooter in a genre littered with war simulations and alien shooters. Its stories are great, but its atmospheres are even better.<br />
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Ken Levine details this process in a number of great quotes, but here's my favorite:<br />
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When I was working on <i style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thief_(series)" style="color: #bc131a; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Thief</a></i> with Doug Church, way, way back in the day, we always said that <i style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">vibe</i> was more important than <i style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">story</i>. I think that's the same thing as what you're saying. Put the player in an interesting world and make him feel like there's interesting things around the corner. That's way more important than specific details about what's going on.</div>
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There are gamers, certainly, who really dig into the details, and God love 'em, because they're the ones you get to sit down and talk with in depth about your game story. But people need a sense of what's going on, and it's our job as writers to make sure they have enough of a sense so it doesn't become a barrier. Just put them in a world with as much visual information as you can, without overwhelming them, and let them bathe in it.</div>
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Feels so true. Especially for sci-fi and fantasy. Vibe and atmosphere are so important and I feel like a lot of people who write at my level scoff at such and say they just want to write a story. Well that's great, but if you're going to write in an escapist genre, shouldn't your story let the reader, y'know, escape? </div>
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There are a few other good quotes in there so do yourself a favor and check it out.</div>
Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-40596368338529293202013-03-20T12:29:00.000-07:002013-03-20T12:29:29.660-07:00New book recommendation: We Die Alone by David HowarthIf you ever thought, "Sure, Aron Rolston is tough, but I want to read about someone even more hardcore who got lost because he was doing something a whole lot more important than dillying around some cliffs," then I have the perfect book for you. If you'll remember, Aron Rolston is the guy who got trapped under a boulder and had to cut his own arm off just so that he could trek through some desert paths and get to safety. Shit is hardcore, but Rolson has nothing on Jan Baalsrud in We Die Alone by David Howarth. Check out more info here:<br />
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http://www.amazon.com/We-Die-Alone-Escape-Endurance/dp/1599210630/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363807556&sr=8-1&keywords=we+die+alone<br />
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Put it this way, Rolston cut off his hand and that shit was undoubtedly gnarly, but Baalsrud cut off nine of his own toes at the top of a mountain while being lashed to a dog sled for six weeks to hide from Nazis scouring the valleys below. Oh, and that's after he fell down a frickin avalanche, which came after he spent days running/swimming away from the Nazis. The truth poignancy comes not just from Baalsrud's suffering, but from the bravery exhibited by countrymen. Anyone who did anything but drag this guy to the nearest Nazi risked the safety of his whole village in helping Jan and yet an astounding number of patriots did just that. Without their help, Jan would have died a lonely man under a pile of snow. Seriously, pick this up if you're itching for some good personal historical fiction.<br />
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<br />Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-51059946676186886312013-03-18T12:10:00.001-07:002013-03-18T12:10:27.543-07:00Book recommendationI just discovered The Wertzone, which looks like a great place for sci-fi/fantasy fans. Seeing as how I'd just finished Susanna Clarke's massive undertaking <i>Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell</i>, I thought I'd see what this guy thought. Honestly, a lot of his ideas reflected what I thought of the book. Fun, ambitious, enjoyable, takes a big meandering misstep around the 2/3rd mark but recovers in time for a satisfying ending. I'd recommend it to only the most patient of readers I know. Clarke's style reads like a breezier version of 19th century literature and the depth she weaves into her alternate world is impressive. Apparently it took her ten years to write this book. Damn. There is literally nothing in this world that's taken me ten years to do. Good on her for sticking with it. I'm one year into this project (third re-writes are advancing somewhere between steadily and glacially) and I can't imagine going on for another year without this beast being somewhat finished.<br />
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Anyways, here's the link if you're interested. The book's been out a while, but I recommend it if you enjoyed Harry Potter, but wished for a bit more density to it.<br />
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<a href="http://thewertzone.blogspot.com/search/label/susanna%20clarke">http://thewertzone.blogspot.com/search/label/susanna%20clarke</a>
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<br />Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-47930576149363629342013-02-12T12:45:00.001-08:002013-02-12T12:45:20.587-08:00History: Still the best inspiration<div>
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History is the fuel for fiction. Without it, I'd be lost for plot structure. I imagine many others would as well. I try to always have one non-fiction that I haven't finished on my kindle. You never know when you'll be in the perfect mood to sit back and read some non-fiction. Currently, I'm reading a great book by Ron Chernow simply titled <i>Washington: A Life. </i>It's great not only for a biography of the man, but as a great resource for learning about the Revolutionary War before, during and after through the eyes of one man. When will I use it in one of my stories? Who knows? Maybe tomorrow, maybe never. You don't know what you'll use until you've learned it. </div>
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I say this because I'm really excited about a recent purchase I made. By recent, I mean today. I've always wanted something like this and I really hope it's what I expect: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Timelines-History-DK-Publishing/dp/0756686814/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360701477&sr=8-1&keywords=timelines+of+history">http://www.amazon.com/Timelines-History-DK-Publishing/dp/0756686814/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360701477&sr=8-1&keywords=timelines+of+history</a></div>
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This one's a Smithsonian joint, so I'm inclined to think the quality will be high. Either way, I've long wanted a comprehensive book of the world's history, but that obviously seemed pretty lofty and pretty difficult. My hope is that through a different medium, I can find different inspiration. This book seems chock full of great pictures and short bits that can really move things along. Most of the time, I just read straight print non-fiction. One of my favorites to this day is The Fatal Shore by Robert Hughes, which is an incredible, detailed account of the formation and growth of Australia from a penal colony to an independent sovereign. Will I use that in a future story? Abso-friggin-lutely. Already have in some ways, and will more. Let's hope this new book stokes some new fires. That's what it's all about after all. Either you're writing or you're finding new things to write about. Til next time.</div>
Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-59011176642395610272013-01-31T14:35:00.003-08:002013-01-31T14:35:26.632-08:00Another take on the 'loneliness topic'I'm thinking more about what I put on my last post and I think part of what I said could use a follow up. Specifically, this part:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i>You can't take people along for the ride when you're writing or painting or making a song. You can't show them the hours upon hours you spent on a project no one will ever see. You can't show them the myriad of failed projects that, in their own way, pave the way to successes later in life. In fact, if readers do see all your labor, all your pain, and all your doubts on the page, then you probably did something wrong. More and more, it seems to me that art is about pushing yourself beyond any reasonable limit to make something practically useless that might make you money, but will probably just make you crazy. And yet, more and more I realize it could be no other way.</i></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I like that. I stand by it. To me, that's what the process is like right now. But I think I've cast more gloom over the whole thing than really I feel about it. I <i>like </i>being alone. I <i>like </i>those moments when I get home and realize I have two hours to myself to do whatever I want (which means 90 minutes of video games and 30 minutes of writing). If you don't like the idea of being lonely or receiving feedback on your work more than once a year, then I don't think writing stories is for you. Again, that's based on what I'm feeling right now in my rawest of raw states. I've read lots of book on the topic of writing and many, if not all, have in some way called writing a lonely craft. It is. But that's why loners gravitate toward it. It's like football. I hate getting hurt. Are you kidding me? Do not punch me. Ever. I don't enjoy pain. I can't imagine having two men the size of grown lions crashing into me at the same time with only some thin pads to absorb the blow. Yet plenty of guys do it very well and are compensated finely for it. Sure, you know about the pain they feel to get where they are, but we don't feel it. We don't connect with that particular sensation. I suspect on some level an athlete welcomes the pain, at least on the playing field. It's likely an invigorating sensation when it doesn't physically hinder an athlete. They've grown up with bumps and bruises. I didn't. I grew up quasi-alone and have since gravitated toward that. Next time you hear some artist or scholar or writer complain about all the lonely hours, just remember that secretly they (and I) love this shit as much as a wide receiver loves taking a hit to make a touchdown catch.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">And the beats carries on with this new story. I'm starting to feel a bit 'in the zone'. We're out of the beginning and plunging in the middle of this story, and things are only getting easier. The plot is only moving faster. Editing shall begin this weekend on one work, but hopefully I'll have something else on the stack before the month of March arrives. Depends on how much alone time I can get.</span>Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-80112558361201886942013-01-28T12:33:00.002-08:002013-01-28T12:33:21.955-08:00Just keep going and goingStarting to get the editing itch. I printed out the manuscript a few weeks ago. It's about a hundred pages longer than the first copy. Not a great sign, but I find that my first copy is where I put everything. No idea is too small or insignificant for that first draft. Soon I'll find a day in the office (preferably a Friday) when I can kick back and read through this beast as quickly as possible. Last time I took spare notes on my draft and never once looked at them. I just re-wrote the whole draft from memory (a mighty selective memory might I add). Now I really want to try and keep track of everything. I feel like a good flow chart or outlining device is going to be necessary to really keep this thing in order. We'll see. It's all about learning the process at this point. No one can teach you 'the process' in any art unless you go and do it yourself. I'm trying to do most of this without too much advice out there to bog it all down. There is plenty of great advice that I know I must heed once the story is truly finished, but until then...<br />
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In the meantime, I'm still (mostly) putting out 2,000 words/day of new, crappy 1st draft stuff. Sundays are bad days for productivity. While I've managed at least 1k every day between Monday and Saturday, I've managed a total of 1,000 words in the four Sundays in January. Might be time to cut myself some slack. It's easy to hold my own face to the fire and say, "Write it every day no matter what!" but I'm working 6 days a week to push about 60 hours total. Sunday is my only off day, which you'd think would help, but really it only hinders. Suddenly I don't have an excuse to say no to that dinner with Dad or that drink with a friend or a myriad of other things. At first, it felt great to say, "No thanks. I'm writing a novel today." But man, after a year of doing that? Something about this month has just made me want to get out a little more when I get that chance.<br />
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This is where I think the loneliness of writing really starts to set in. A year ago, it was all exciting and new and flashy. I had a story that seemed clear as day. Only it wasn't. The only clear thing about this piece was the emotion. Somehow I feel like I'm not alone. When I think of a work, any work that means anything at all to me, it's not the structure or the plot intricacies that really hang me up (not at the daydreaming stage anyways). It's that raw emotion. This first shelved draft comes down to a few feelings that drove me to The End. This thing I'm working on now? Same deal. You pick a few emotions, you slap them on some people you like, and you hit the gas. And you feel the rush as you create and improve upon your creation, but no one feels it with you. No one sees you come back day after day to the same desk, to the same process, to the same document that hardly looks any different to anyone except you. A year ago, I made the grave (yet to be repeated) error of showing a few family members and friends the opening of my work (in first draft form) and since then people (read: my parents) ask about it all the time (read: once or twice over the last year) and all I can say is, "It's not done. Not even close." It's a lonely ride, but it can literally be no other way. If you want to reach The End, you have to run those miles alone.<br />
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You can't take people along for the ride when you're writing or painting or making a song. You can't show them the hours upon hours you spent on a project no one will ever see. You can't show them the myriad of failed projects that, in their own way, pave the way to successes later in life. In fact, if readers do see all your labor, all your pain, and all your doubts on the page, then you probably did something wrong. More and more, it seems to me that art is about pushing yourself beyond any reasonable limit to make something practically useless that might make you money, but will probably just make you crazy. And yet, more and more I realize it could be no other way.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-70714784701514197382012-12-27T10:01:00.001-08:002012-12-27T10:01:21.377-08:002012 in ReviewI can say without exception that 2012 has been the best year of my life. I will always remember it as the year I finally 'woke up'. You see, to me, it always felt pre-ordained that I was meant to write stories. Not be a writer. Not even publish or sell a story. But writing stories? Yes, that had to be me. I knew it from the first time I read a story and was amazed at the magic of a good book. I would say to myself, 'How could anyone do this?' but deep down it was a thrill to wonder how <i>I </i>would do it.<br />
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I've always wanted to write stories, but never had the discipline to do it. I thought I was so chock full of talent, so well read, that I had merely to go out, live life to the fullest, read some books and when I sat down some day and put my fingers to a keyboard, the magic would flow. Little did I realize that <i>everyone</i> is out there living life to the fullest. And many of them read more than I do. And many more want to write just like I do. And many many more have written wayyy more than I have. Oh, and talent? Doesn't exist. If it does, I don't care about it. Talent is an excuse created by the lazy to justify the successes of the hard working. Give me work ethic over talent every day of the week. When you grow up half-assing just about everything in life because that's all life required of you, it's hard to realize that if you want to achieve what you feel is your destiny, then you need to go full bore. You need to push the other stuff away that eats at your minutes and put every fiber of your being toward what really matters, <i>and</i> you need to pay the bills at the end of the day. It needs to become a second job; it's something you commit to without reservation. I wasn't ready for that lesson until this past year.<br />
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It was in March 2012 when the <strike>best</strike> most stubborn story idea yet finally held me long enough to type more than ten pages and call it quits. If you'll recall through past posts, I made a goal to write 2,000 words every day. It's not about writing 14,000 words a week (though that is a fantastic side effect) nearly as much as it is about that <i>every day</i> part. Going a few days without that story in my head makes it stale and awkward. If you mean to write one story in your life, by all means. Stretch it out. But I want to write stories, and that means daily production. It doesn't have to be 2,000 necessarily, but that threshold works for me. If I can't get 2,000 on a day, I have to get <i>something</i> and then I can make it up later in the week. Either way, if you truly care about a craft or a calling, you have to do it every single day or you damn well better have a good reason. And no, being tired or drained doesn't count. Those are excuses rooted in your willpower. That's one thing I learned in 2012.<br />
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I've also learned that writing a first draft of a story is every bit the same thrill as reading a story for the first time. Sitting down at my desk every day and opening my laptop, I would think to myself, <i>Now what will happen today?</i> From early March to late June, I wrote on a near daily basis and I finished the first draft of what will hopefully some day be a novel that, if it isn't published, I can at least share with friends and family. What a rush. The first long form story I'd ever finished. I'd never felt so proud of myself.<br />
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Unfortunately it was a mess, and I knew it from the second I printed it out. I knew it before then really. I knew it was a hopeless mess when I was about halfway through the draft, but you know what? I kept going until I reached The End. I'm damn happy I did it now, but back then? On June 20th, 2012? Looking at that first draft? In the words of Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock, "Good <i>God</i>, Lemon." I needed a break.<br />
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I spent the next three months writing in different forms; it was mostly sports writing. I hooked up with a great site that allowed me tremendous freedom to contribute as I saw fit. I moved forward in writing weekly columns about the Buffalo Bills, but my fiction was drying up. I tried writing a sequel to that God Awful First Draft, but it just wasn't working. By about 50-60 pages in, the story was like a train running wildly off the tracks in the middle of the desert. I shut it down at that point and once again I found myself in that familiar slump. That place in everyone's mind in which you seriously question everything you've thought about yourself up to that point. "OK," I thought, "I gave it my best shot. It sucked. Maybe I'm just bad at this." It's weird because normally I beat myself up in that moment of introspection, and for a brief period, I did. The fiction dried up, the sports writing took over, and I wondered if fiction just wasn't my gig.<br />
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But something happened between the end of summer and mid-October. I read over my first draft in a marathon session and yeah, it was bad. Cringes were common. Forehead slaps came once a page. But in the end, it wasn't as bad as I'd remembered. The draft had sat and stewed for so long that I didn't feel the same emotional attachment to the paper in front of me. I could overlook silly errors because no one will ever read that draft. More importantly though, I felt a deep stirring. I could do better. Even more importantly, I knew how I could do better.<br />
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I wrote every single day between October 21st and December 16th and I finished the second draft of said novel. Again, it's shit. It's really more like the first draft that I wanted to write, but couldn't the first time because I was so enthralled by the process that I couldn't keep my head straight. This second draft was like running a hot knife through butter. The people, the images, the locations all came clearer, sharper, more meaningful to me. Everything made sense, and the ending? Well, it's a work in progress, but dammit I reached it. Again. And in a month or two, I'm going to come back to that thing and start doing some real work on it until it's done. It doesn't matter how many shitty attempts you make, if you're willing to stand up after rubbing your face in your own crap and do it all over again, then the future is yours. No one can tell you otherwise. That's another thing I learned in 2012.<br />
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I've never made a resolution, and I don't intend to start. But 2013 looms large though because I want to extend these bursts of productivity and make this a consistent process, not just something isolated to the rush I feel from one story. I want to do this every day throughout 2013 because I want to get better at writing, plain and simple. No other motive. I've worked in Corporate America. I've worked in dingy bars and shiny airports, and I've been a manager of a million dollar budget. None of it matters. None of it feels real. None of it is <i>mine</i>. Writing though, writing is mine. No one can take that from me. No one can take credit for my work (unless they raid my apartment). People can tell me it's crap and they can refuse to publish whatever I do write, but I will keep coming back. I will keep learning and I will keep improving. Because this is what I wanted to be since I was kid laying on my bed reading <i>Squanto: A Warrior's Tale</i> for the umpteenth time, and when you want to be something, the best way to achieve that dream is to just go do it. Sleep is for the old. Make time every day or it doesn't matter. That's another big lesson from 2012.<br />
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In ten years, twenty years, whatever, I hope that 2012 will not be seen as the best year of my life. Otherwise I've regressed and it's all for naught. I hope I can look back on this past year as a stepping stone. I hope I can see that this was the year I learned how I want to live the rest of my life. More importantly, I learned <i>how </i>to achieve that, and what it takes to get there. I want to value those I love, build a life with the woman who completes me, and write until my fingers bleed. Oh, and pay the bills of course. Everything outside of that is gravy.<br />
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Happy Holidays, everyone. See you in the next 'Best Year of My Life'. May it be the same for you.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-30221459621544834772012-07-20T12:57:00.001-07:002012-07-20T12:57:14.468-07:00Tears shed for the victims in ColoradoComparing tragedies is a crude way to quantify human loss, and I would never say any one thing is worse than another, but for some reason this theatre shooting is hitting me personally harder than 9/11. It's one thing to have terrorists attack you. They're enemies waging war. Fucked as it is, there is a twisted sub-culture behind the whole thing.<br />
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But this. I mean what can anyone do? Maximum security movie theatres? Metal detectors at the playground? Some insane motherfucker can come from literally anywhere in this country at any time and just kill people who have worked their whole lives and touched how many others. I think about everything I want to do with my life and to just have it all snuffed out because someone wanted to be a fucking Batman villain is a terrifying prospect. I can't even imagine having kids right now. I wouldn't let them anywhere near a theatre for at least a month. I mean it. Copycats are just as crazy as their inspiration, and I would take that threat very seriously.<br />
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It's all just unpredictable, senseless, and awful and you know it won't be the last time and you don't know where it will come from. Sad, wish more things (and all people) were as simple and sweet as this song below. In the meantime, I'm going to use a public bathroom and hope I don't get shot on the way. You never know anymore.<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvkIZXZe4iYCoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-29809556824725925752012-06-26T14:14:00.000-07:002012-06-26T14:14:00.864-07:00DoneRough draft is finished. I am exhausted, elated, worrisome, you name it. It's a heaping piece of shit and I kind of want to kick it around like a peasant child, but methinks there's hope in there. We'll see. It's a long ways off. The plan is to let it stew for (probably) the rest of the summer. Then once the leaves start falling, I'll dust it off and start the (massive) rewrite. Pretty much every sentence is going to get raped, but hey that's what it gets for walking the streets at night. I'm looking forward to writing some lighter fare and possibly even getting back into some open mics. Writing for stand-up is so so different from writing a novel that it's going to probably take a shift in attitude when I sit at the keyboard, but I do miss writing jokes. I'm a bit burnt out on writing hardcore shit so I'm definitely taking a break for a bit, but I have to fight the temptation to laze too long. One day very easily turns into one week without writing. If anything, I'm hoping to actually write in this blog on a regular basis to keep the fires stoked. In the meantime, stay classy kids.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-43730258026964105452012-05-16T17:37:00.002-07:002012-05-16T17:37:50.154-07:00The ClimaxJust wrote a big pivotal scene which will probably pose as THE CLIMAX for the novel and I have to say...writing is just so much easier when you do it every day. This was a scene I wrestled with for a while, but when you write every day these scenes become easier. The words come quicker, the people are fresher and everything is more organic. If I take even one day off, it takes a longer time to start the engines on the next day. Monday was my first blank writing day of May and Tuesday became my slowest starting writing day. But I finished Tuesday strong with a scene I liked and then I roared back today and finished it. It's that easy. Tomorrow another scene. Friday, another. You don't quit until it's done and when it's done, you start something else. If I can do that, I win. Frankly I am not in this to lose.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-31642778648416319962012-05-03T14:56:00.000-07:002012-05-03T14:56:29.652-07:00Another month, another tally, oh and there's music.Well April was a tad more successful than March as far as raw writing production is concerned. In March, I had four circles (meaning no writing took place that day) and finished with 52,000 words written in the 31 days of the month. In April, I had two circles and wrote 56,000 words. I'm especially happy with that because it's clear improvement in that I took two days out of March and added 2k words/day to those circles AND found time to make up words in a 30 day month. So in two months of serious dedication to the craft, I've put up 108,000 words. I'm good with that.<br />
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If I haven't made it clear in previous posts, I'll try again now. The reason I'm so hung up on these words is because my goals in writing aren't just to write a book, or even to get it published. I want to write for the rest of my life, and frankly I don't want to do anything else. The more I write, the freer I feel, the better I live. It's the simplest way I can put it. I don't like day jobs and I don't like pandering. I'm not married and I don't have kids, so what am I waiting for? If ever I'm going to reach a dream of writing every day and actually succeeding, I have to hold myself accountable. And that means tracking words, then holding those words in my face if I don't meet my quota of words. Hopefully, this becomes a life long habit, or at least one I have until I'm happily at my goal.<br />
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Granted, these are all first draft words. To me, these are about 2/3 as useful as a second draft word and maybe 2/5 as useful as final draft words. But you can't have final drafts without first having a sketch. I'm trying to blaze through at this point. I was working toward getting my characters to a unifying experience and then put them through the horrors of said experience. Now the story starts at that unifying spark and my narration has strengthened considerably thanks to that. I am no longer allowing myself to look back at previously written chapters until I consider the first draft done. Then it shall sit in a hole for a long, long time while I write its sequel. Well, that's the plan anyways.<br />
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Now, for the music:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/tA9me6zCpjU" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br />Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-80198007998710523542012-04-30T15:17:00.000-07:002012-04-30T15:17:05.716-07:00Been a while, I know, but it's better than ever. Two thousand words gets easier and easier to write every day. Just starting to let go, let the story take me where it will, then worry about revising later on. That has to be the key. No more rewrites, no more looking back, not til the story's told. Then the painting can begin.<br />
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Peace.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-49682762508345141802012-04-15T16:20:00.003-07:002012-04-15T16:34:09.800-07:00I feel like if I don't post in the next couple days, this blog will officially fall to idle status...again. And really, I don't want that to happen. I never want it to happen. Sometimes it happens. Let's move on.<br /><br />NHL Playoffs. This is really what I think is going on. I've had a pretty tough week writing wise. Everything leading up to this week had been pretty swell. The pace lingered slightly below 2k/day on the words output, the story was moving in an all right direction (it's been more focused on learning one character for a while before moving on to a second and third, etc.), but the past few days have dipped and I blame the NHL playoffs.<br /><br />I usually love to make big prediction posts about hockey, but if there's anything I've learned from past prediction posts about hockey it's that hockey is, for the most part, unpredictable. More so than any sport relying on playoff series formats to decide championships, hockey is the sport that requires the perfect blend of talent, scheming, luck, GOALTENDING and, the two favorite words of all team sport coaches, grit and hustle.<br /><br />Going into the playoffs, I would have picked the Penguins and Predators to play in the Cup Finals. Right now I could replace the Penguins with their soon-to-be vanquisher the Flyers and feel safe about that pick. But really, safe is relative in hockey playoffs, where a guy like Brian Boyle can punch a star player on the opposing team in Game 1 and then get jumped and pounded by a player specifically brought into Game 2 to jump and pound Brian Boyle.<br /><br />I could post endless links that would show you the last week in playoffs action where hockey somehow reverted to the past where fast skating, high goal scoring and loads of fisticuffs and team-wide brawls when you least expect them. Think the play's over when a goal's scored? <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz_dzLN08go">Try again.</a> It's beautiful. I've watched the NHL playoffs for as long as I've had a TV, but if you too are one of the fortunate billion to own a TV as well and you have any desire to watch sporting at its finest and most emotional, do tune in to the NHL playoffs.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-53361024277649829292012-04-04T09:57:00.003-07:002012-04-04T09:59:55.026-07:00For Your Next Peaceful Day Off<iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fb2HBDxqwIg" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe>Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-65011334621739696362012-04-04T09:51:00.003-07:002012-04-04T09:56:56.740-07:00ScrivenerI downloaded the free trial of Scrivener and this looks like <span style="font-style: italic;">the</span> novel writing program. I'm halfway through the tutorial and I already know I'm buying this thing. Amazing capabilities. It seems to have every little thing I need to organize an increasingly unwieldy story. Highly recommended for anyone looking to write projects of any length on a regular basis.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-43962112226562736172012-04-03T14:11:00.002-07:002012-04-03T14:14:55.046-07:0030 Note Cards LaterI may just have finished up the outline for two characters at work today. I try to make my downtime at work count for production, but writing here is near impossible. I mean, I'll be going and going then someone will send an email or call and like, expect me to work. Pfffft. So I find that daydreaming about my setting, adding little details here and there in my mind is nice, but as with anything that stays in my mind, it's a fickle unreliable exercise.<br /><br />Today I sat down with a stack of index cards and every time I found a lull in my work I just jotted down a small synopsis of the next chapter for my characters until I got them all to a point where I'm satisfied. You'll never guess this, but *gasp* this shit's lining up for a sequel real quick. And I think some of the work I've done is already begging to be the beginning of that sequel. People, the sun is shining, the words are flowing and life aint just good. Dammit, it's great.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-60309605046136491662012-04-02T15:35:00.003-07:002012-04-02T15:57:22.333-07:00My Writing Calendar<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=df43eae83b&view=att&th=136752e2abfaebd1&attid=0.1&disp=thd&zw"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 340px; height: 254px;" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=df43eae83b&view=att&th=136752e2abfaebd1&attid=0.1&disp=thd&zw" alt="" border="0" /></a>Here's a copy of the writing calendar I mentioned in an earlier post. An X is happy happy write write and a circle (or in the case of March 5th a sad face) means no writing was done that day. In the ended, I wrote 26 days in March and my output topped out at 52,000 words for the month. I'll take it. I'm aiming to average 2,000 words a day. So far so good with that for April, but uh yeah, that's not impressive for now. What will be impressive is if I can keep up with this pace. Forever. Seriously, my life feels better for all of it. You can't really see the specifics, but I have word counts attached to each day and since the St. Patty's Day Hiatus, I've solidly averaged 2k/day and I hope to keep that up to a point where I can plan on days off (only when absolutely necessary) and increase production accordingly to keep that clip going.<br /><br />To me, it's not about anything but putting words down that lead to the end of this tunnel. I'm close with one character, not as close with another, a little further away with three others and way off with one who may not make the cut. Each character will follow his/her storyline to an acceptable story-telling ledge that will tie them together, albeit loosely, then I can go back and start re-writing and adding the details I've sorely missed in the rough draft thus far. I'm thinking each character has about a 20-30k word story arc attached to them. If I can just keep going at this pace (one word at a time, one day at a time), this should be done somewhere in the summertime. Maybe. Hopefully. But without those and without that pace, me and this silly little blog melt in the heat. No big deal or anything.<br /><img src="file:///Users/CBuck/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/moz-screenshot.png" alt="" /><img src="file:///Users/CBuck/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/moz-screenshot-1.png" alt="" />Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-46939828932306827612012-03-29T09:54:00.003-07:002012-03-29T10:03:44.095-07:00Go big or go novella?I'm finding myself in a bit of a bind as of late with the story. Thankfully it has nothing to do with the writing. I'm still putting up my 2k/day. I just finished my bit for today and I think my biggest problem is simply bringing it all together. I have written from the perspective of 6 different people in this future-Earth I've created. Two have been fleshed out really well, two have been catching fire and two are good characters with little to do at first. So I like what I'm writing, and in their own contexts, my characters are making good sense. And I DO know how I want to connect one character with two others, but aside from that it just seems like everyone's gotta do their own thing and get out of their own battles before they can all matter to each other. It makes me wonder if it wouldn't all be easier to write if I just took a novella approach to each character.<br /><br />I like this idea for a couple reasons. 1) It allows me to write unfettered from trying to connect everyone. Again, I liked this idea as a novel, but I only had started 2 characters when I had that thought. Now that the world has gotten MUCH bigger, I feel the novella approach allows me to crawl around in the dingy corners more before hitting the limelight. 2) It gives me a sense of completion and the confidence in completing projects that I'm not sure I have right now. I feel like a lot of my doubt related to this story stems from the fact that I've never really finished anything comparable. I've had ideas and I've written some novellas and short stories, but never a novel and never like this. To finish three or four novellas ranging from 20-50k words might be a boost. 3) If I really want it all to be a novel, I can find a way to blend the novellas together after I've actually taken these people places.<br /><br />So yeah, I think I just convinced myself that this thing will broken up a bit more. Which is cool because I can release things a lot sooner and you guys can actually see what I'm talking about. Then the drinking will commence. I'm gonna stew on this a night or two, but I feel like as long as I keep writing it ultimately isn't going to be a huge decision. The story is what truly matters here, no matter how I present it.Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6588370188717073637.post-37792445052095664562012-03-26T19:24:00.001-07:002012-03-26T19:24:35.599-07:00<span style="color:#000000;">"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." -Ernest Hemingway</span>Coryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09049796771846322259noreply@blogger.com0