Tears shed for the victims in Colorado

Comparing tragedies is a crude way to quantify human loss, and I would never say any one thing is worse than another, but for some reason this theatre shooting is hitting me personally harder than 9/11. It's one thing to have terrorists attack you. They're enemies waging war. Fucked as it is, there is a twisted sub-culture behind the whole thing.

But this. I mean what can anyone do? Maximum security movie theatres? Metal detectors at the playground? Some insane motherfucker can come from literally anywhere in this country at any time and just kill people who have worked their whole lives and touched how many others. I think about everything I want to do with my life and to just have it all snuffed out because someone wanted to be a fucking Batman villain is a terrifying prospect. I can't even imagine having kids right now. I wouldn't let them anywhere near a theatre for at least a month. I mean it. Copycats are just as crazy as their inspiration, and I would take that threat very seriously.

It's all just unpredictable, senseless, and awful and you know it won't be the last time and you don't know where it will come from. Sad, wish more things (and all people) were as simple and sweet as this song below. In the meantime, I'm going to use a public bathroom and hope I don't get shot on the way. You never know anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvkIZXZe4iY

Done

Rough draft is finished. I am exhausted, elated, worrisome, you name it. It's a heaping piece of shit and I kind of want to kick it around like a peasant child, but methinks there's hope in there. We'll see. It's a long ways off. The plan is to let it stew for (probably) the rest of the summer. Then once the leaves start falling, I'll dust it off and start the (massive) rewrite. Pretty much every sentence is going to get raped, but hey that's what it gets for walking the streets at night. I'm looking forward to writing some lighter fare and possibly even getting back into some open mics. Writing for stand-up is so so different from writing a novel that it's going to probably take a shift in attitude when I sit at the keyboard, but I do miss writing jokes. I'm a bit burnt out on writing hardcore shit so I'm definitely taking a break for a bit, but I have to fight the temptation to laze too long. One day very easily turns into one week without writing. If anything, I'm hoping to actually write in this blog on a regular basis to keep the fires stoked. In the meantime, stay classy kids.

The Climax

Just wrote a big pivotal scene which will probably pose as THE CLIMAX for the novel and I have to say...writing is just so much easier when you do it every day. This was a scene I wrestled with for a while, but when you write every day these scenes become easier. The words come quicker, the people are fresher and everything is more organic. If I take even one day off, it takes a longer time to start the engines on the next day. Monday was my first blank writing day of May and Tuesday became my slowest starting writing day. But I finished Tuesday strong with a scene I liked and then I roared back today and finished it. It's that easy. Tomorrow another scene. Friday, another. You don't quit until it's done and when it's done, you start something else. If I can do that, I win. Frankly I am not in this to lose.

Another month, another tally, oh and there's music.

Well April was a tad more successful than March as far as raw writing production is concerned. In March, I had four circles (meaning no writing took place that day) and finished with 52,000 words written in the 31 days of the month. In April, I had two circles and wrote 56,000 words. I'm especially happy with that because it's clear improvement in that I took two days out of March and added 2k words/day to those circles AND found time to make up words in a 30 day month. So in two months of serious dedication to the craft, I've put up 108,000 words. I'm good with that.

If I haven't made it clear in previous posts, I'll try again now. The reason I'm so hung up on these words is because my goals in writing aren't just to write a book, or even to get it published. I want to write for the rest of my life, and frankly I don't want to do anything else. The more I write, the freer I feel, the better I live. It's the simplest way I can put it. I don't like day jobs and I don't like pandering. I'm not married and I don't have kids, so what am I waiting for? If ever I'm going to reach a dream of writing every day and actually succeeding, I have to hold myself accountable. And that means tracking words, then holding those words in my face if I don't meet my quota of words. Hopefully, this becomes a life long habit, or at least one I have until I'm happily at my goal.

Granted, these are all first draft words. To me, these are about 2/3 as useful as a second draft word and maybe 2/5 as useful as final draft words. But you can't have final drafts without first having a sketch. I'm trying to blaze through at this point. I was working toward getting my characters to a unifying experience and then put them through the horrors of said experience. Now the story starts at that unifying spark and my narration has strengthened considerably thanks to that. I am no longer allowing myself to look back at previously written chapters until I consider the first draft done. Then it shall sit in a hole for a long, long time while I write its sequel. Well, that's the plan anyways.

Now, for the music:

Been a while, I know, but it's better than ever. Two thousand words gets easier and easier to write every day. Just starting to let go, let the story take me where it will, then worry about revising later on. That has to be the key. No more rewrites, no more looking back, not til the story's told. Then the painting can begin.

Peace.

I feel like if I don't post in the next couple days, this blog will officially fall to idle status...again. And really, I don't want that to happen. I never want it to happen. Sometimes it happens. Let's move on.

NHL Playoffs. This is really what I think is going on. I've had a pretty tough week writing wise. Everything leading up to this week had been pretty swell. The pace lingered slightly below 2k/day on the words output, the story was moving in an all right direction (it's been more focused on learning one character for a while before moving on to a second and third, etc.), but the past few days have dipped and I blame the NHL playoffs.

I usually love to make big prediction posts about hockey, but if there's anything I've learned from past prediction posts about hockey it's that hockey is, for the most part, unpredictable. More so than any sport relying on playoff series formats to decide championships, hockey is the sport that requires the perfect blend of talent, scheming, luck, GOALTENDING and, the two favorite words of all team sport coaches, grit and hustle.

Going into the playoffs, I would have picked the Penguins and Predators to play in the Cup Finals. Right now I could replace the Penguins with their soon-to-be vanquisher the Flyers and feel safe about that pick. But really, safe is relative in hockey playoffs, where a guy like Brian Boyle can punch a star player on the opposing team in Game 1 and then get jumped and pounded by a player specifically brought into Game 2 to jump and pound Brian Boyle.

I could post endless links that would show you the last week in playoffs action where hockey somehow reverted to the past where fast skating, high goal scoring and loads of fisticuffs and team-wide brawls when you least expect them. Think the play's over when a goal's scored? Try again. It's beautiful. I've watched the NHL playoffs for as long as I've had a TV, but if you too are one of the fortunate billion to own a TV as well and you have any desire to watch sporting at its finest and most emotional, do tune in to the NHL playoffs.

For Your Next Peaceful Day Off