Thursday, May 16, 2013

In the meantime, here's MY Game of Thrones Hockey Team (I have no life)

This article, predictably, created a stir in me when you get to the bottom and see a fully realized Game of Thrones hockey lineup. Pretty much my two favorite non-specifically-human things in this world. Naturally I had to have my own take. I'm gonna go ahead and put them in the shape they were after season/book 2 just to be fair and try to fit as many main characters in as possible without ruining anything.

Owner: Tywin Lannister
GM: Petyr Baelish
HC: Daenerys Targaryen
Assistants: Tyrion Lannister, Varys the Spider

I mostly agree with Dave there's take on the management team. Tywin's clearly a greedy owner and Littlefinger is clearly a GM. I liked khaleesi for coach because of her rah-rah ability while Tyrion and Varys would be studious and fair assistant coaches.

Jaime-Barristan the Bold-Robb
Loras-Jon Snow-Brienne
Asha-Mance Rayder-Theon
Bronn-Ramsay Bolton-Ilyn Payne

Biggest offense of the original was omitting Barristan Selmy. That guy should wear the C on your team. Put him between Jaime (sniper) and Robb (skilled grinder) and that's a top line. Loras would be the flashy winger type of course. I figure on the third line get a little wild. Put the King Beyond the Wall between skilled siblings and you'll have a disruptive force. And I fully agree that the fourth line should shed as much blood as possible. I just think Bronn could have better linemates for the job.
Gregor Clegane-Jorah Mormont
Stannis Baratheon-Sandor Clegane
Thoros of Myr-Tormund Giantsbane

At first I thought pairing the Cleganes on defense would be a good idea, but then you'd have those two trying to kill each other and maybe neither is particularly swift. I gave each a reliable partner and tossed a gritty third pairing behind them. 
(Extra skaters: Joffrey and the Kingsguard. They'll be good at sitting behind a wall while everyone else gets shit done.)

Arya Stark
Samwell Tarly

If I'm playing a team of snipers, give me Arya and those quick hands. If it's a team of hard nosed grinders, give me Sam to play the odds.

And I've officially descended to a new low. But hey, give me your takes and we'll wallow in the slums!


  1. This is legit. Wish he was in the show but technically Victarion Wife Snuffing Greyjoy made a cameo by Book 2. Feel like a goalie canidate purely for the Kraken helmet, and the Miller like hair. Or just a more athletic Ilyn Payne for the chaos line. The Blackfish could center a great line if he had shown up earlier, and man the potential if the Khal went to IR when he should have. Great, now realizing I'm going to be doing this all day.

    1. You won't be able to stop thinking about doing it until you just go ahead and do it. Victarion was definitely a top candidate, but tried to keep it show friendly for the nonce.