Bemoaning the Bills

When you root for one of the worst franchises in pro sports, you have to find ways to get yourself through the games, week in and week out. The Buffalo Bills are without a doubt one of the worst teams in the NFL, and have been so for the better part of the last decade. With no hope in sight and the team 0-3, the best fans in the NFL still showed up for a Week 4 matchup with playoff contender New York Jets at Ralph Wilson Stadium. Since I wore out my welcome at the Ralph thanks to about 14 gallons of Labatt's Blue Light and the repulsive sight of Dolphins fans, I'm sitting the rest of the year out as far as live entertainment is concerned. However, that won't stop me from sitting back and watching my beloved Bills every week. And while I'm at it, I might as well chronicle my thoughts as I watch my team most likely lose in what will most likely be a cold, wet, miserable affair.

1st quarter:

Kickoff! Did I mention that this game is sold out? This team is becoming Lions bad, but these fans still come out every week and make Ralph Wilson Stadium a pain in the ass place for anyone to play. If only we could say the same for the team. Chan Gailey defers and the Bills kickoff to the Jets.

Mark Sanchez might not have to pass more than eight times today for the Jets to easily win. Ladainian Tomlinson is averaging about ten yards a run as the Jets march down the field and, yep, there's an LT touchdown. The historically bad run defense of last year proudly juts its chin in the air as the crowd's energy is already sucked from the stadium. My gut feeling is the Jets have already scored more points on that drive than the Bills will today.

And wouldn't you know it! The Jets set themselves up to ice the Bills before the game is ten minutes old! A high, short kick is bobbled, of course, by a Bills player and the Jets recover. Swimming start, fellas. Somehow the Jets manage to botch a gassed Bills D and can't even get a FG out of it. Still 7-0 Jets.

And now the Bills take the field for the first time! Ryan Fitzpatrick's career stats look like a bad Jay Cutler year: 58% Comp. Rate 4351 yds 23 TD 29 INT. Yeah, it might be time to draft a quarterback...

And now the Bills punt for the first time! Well hey, it was a great three plays, guys. LT averages more in one rush than the Bills average on a drive. If you'd told me a decade ago that I'd be watching the winningest AFC team of the 90s get shredded by a Jets team led by a guy who designed his own shirts for a "Jets West" seminar with the skill players on his offense. Ugh. I need a break. Back in the second quarter.